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Chapter Five
"What do I know of my body until you gave it shape? What do I know of beauty until you looked at me?
Living was merely existing before you found me.
Wherever you go I would follow because my heart is now intertwined with yours. When I see you, I see love. Heaven bless the day you came my way. What have I done to land you? You bring me so much peace, joy, love and hope.
I am no longer the girl I once was. This caterpillar has metamorphosed into a butterfly. I am bright and beautiful, finally free to fly without the fear of crashing. And all these are possible because of you. My life is finally meaningful because you are now in it."
These words roamed in Emma’s head as she stepped out of her car, making her way to Alex’s door, hands tucked in the pocket of her maroon coat. Stephan had bought that coat for her last Christmas, it was amongst the numerous presents she had received from him.
The words kept going on and on as if to inform her that they now live in her head rent-free. Out of all the times in the world to do this, they chose this hour, this moment. Those words belong to the prologue of one of her favorite books. She had read this book more than a hundred times, but she would always fall freshly in love with it over and over again each time she reads it. Before now, she had no idea these words were hanging in there, somewhere.
Leaves swayed on their branches. Lone leaves soar in the air before landing on the ground and finding their way back up again. A lone leaf landed on Emma's shoes after dancing tirelessly in the air. This interrupted and paused the numerous thoughts running through her mind and brought her back to reality.
The atmosphere was that of gloom. It reminded her of the time her paternal grandfather was buried. The street was calm and quiet. It was in a total state of serenity except for the interruption of the hissing sound of the wind. It was almost winter, and the cold was already settling in.
Emma’s right hand quivered as she slipped it out in a bid to knock on the door. It was not the cold that made her shake this way, but rather the thought of what she was about to do. The thought of burning the most beautiful thing she had ever found before giving it a chance to blossom killed her. But it was something she had to do.
There was no response or sight of anyone after having knocked twice on the door. Just as she was about to knock on the door one more time before turning around and leaving for her house, the door opened. Alex stared at her expressionlessly for a few seconds before inviting her in. She was a little upset, or rather, sad. She was sad from the mere thought of Emma not making it to her place that day and not calling to inform her about it.
Earlier that day, she had gone grocery shopping, cleaned the entire house, and prepared a meal in preparation for Emma’s visit to her place. The thought of all these being in vain weighed her down. Emma did not know what she did to her. No, she did not. But Emma was here now, and it lightened her mood; her countenance changed in no time.
Immediately Emma walked into the room, the first thing she noticed was a portrait on the wall, and instead of sitting down, she walked straight to the place the portrait was hanging. It was something Alex had bought a few months ago from an art exhibition. It had the image of a half male and half female put together on it.
“What can you make of this? What do you see? What do you think,” Alex asked.
“I don’t know what to make of this because I don’t know what the artist had in mind while painting this. I could be wrong, you know?” Emma replied.
"I think art is life. Its interpretation should not be limited to what a single individual or a particular group of people think or feel. What you see, think of feel should also be valid because it is your truth," Alex said.
Emma stood there staring at Alex in awe. She had never seen this part of Alex before. She had no idea of how brilliant Alex was.
"Now, tell me what you think, see or feel," Alex added, interrupting her thoughts.
“I think it is about sexuality. Everyone is one and the same despite their sex or sexuality," Emma explained.
“Now that’s deep," Alex said with a smile on her face.
Emma turned around and walked towards the sofa on her left and sat down on it.
“You have a beautiful place,” Emma finally said.
Alex smiled staring straight into Emma's eyes without saying a word. Her eyes and smile did all the talking that needed to be done, just as Emma's mind wandered back to the reason she had visited Alex in the first place. Alex interrupted her thoughts.
“I’ve been meaning to speak to you about something, but you seem like you have something to say as well, I’d let you go first.”
“No. Let me hear you out first,” Emma requested.
“Ok then,” Alex began.
“But first, I have a confession to make. I did not walk up to you because I was interested in the book you were holding that day in the quadrangle, it was you I was interested in. I had followed you from the library thinking of ways to start up a conversation with you, but I happened to be at my wit's end. Finally, I decided to borrow your book, so I would have an opportunity of seeing you again. When I saw you, something in me died and I longed and hungered for you, every bit of you.
What I am saying is that I am in love with you, Emma, and I can’t help it.
I have tried but failed to stop myself from feeling the way I do for you.”
Emma’s eyes turned starry. Her heart started to beat fast. A tear was about dropping from her right eye when Alex hurried towards her and hugged her so tight.
“Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” Alex asked.
“I have a boyfriend,” Emma replied gradually pulling herself from her embrace.
“Then why are you here?” Alex asked.
“That is what I came all the way here to say to you," Emma added.
"You should have just said so over the phone."
“Oh! You think it is that simple!” Emma exclaimed.
Alex was so sad and confused that she sat back down without saying a word.
“But do you not feel anything for me? Does my love for you not mean anything?” she finally asked breaking the silence.
“It does," Emma replied.
“Prior to this moment, I wasn’t sure you felt anything for me. I thought I was something you just wanted to have some fun with, but now I know how you truly feel about me. I think I’ll give it all up we’ll find a way around this thing. I want this love to flourish. I swear I need it to blossom just as much as I feel the need to breathe. I too feel something for you, I love you more than words can express and I just don’t know why it’s so. I know this is so sudden, I mean we met a few weeks ago, but I just can't stop myself. I fall deeper in love with you each passing day.”
“Then be with me.” Alex interrupted.
“It is not that simple. What am I going to do with Stephan, my boyfriend? This would break him. I know it would. He is a good guy who has loved me with everything he has, with every part of himself. Breaking up with him has to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done or would ever have to do in my entire life, but I think I would have to free him. I would tell him about us I would look for a way to do it so it wouldn’t be so painful. I have to set him free. He deserves someone way better than me, someone, that is going to love him deeply and truly.”
Alex moved with the speed of light and grabbed Emma’s face. She brushed her lips against Emma’s in a hot, sensual, passionate kiss.
“ I fucking love you,” she managed to say.
"You would be the death of me," Emma replied freeing her lips from Alex’s in a bid for her words to be clear enough.
They kissed each other passionately for over 5 minutes before they finally undressed each other. Alex lured Emma to her bedroom. She guided her to the bed and formed an arch with her body on top of her, squeezing her boobs and nipples while kissing her sensually and passionately.
She released her lips from Emma’s and slipped her index finger into Emma’s mouth. When Emma’s wet lips and tongue came in contact with her finger, it send shivers all over her body.
She turned around on the bed and laid on her back. Emma was on top of her now and she guided Emma’s head down to her pussy. Without hesitating, Emma went down in her, first with her tongue and finally with her lips as well. She ate Alex’s pussy as if she had been starved for the day. Alex saw the hunger in her eyes while she ate her pussy and this turned Alex on the more. In no time, she reached out for Alex’s boobs while still feasting on her pussy. She was eating her out and squeezing her boobs and nipples at the same time.
Alex lifted her up from her pussy and tasted her own wetness on Emma’s lips. They both knelt there on her bed sucking each other’s boobs and biting nipples at regular intervals. Alex turned Emma around in the doggy position and send her mouth straight into her pussy, eating the hell out of it. Emma shook out of intense pleasure. Alex set her pussy free and went for her ass. She was rimming her ass hole while spanking her ass and gently biting it at regular intervals.
Emma was dripping wet now. Alex reached for something besides her bed, Emma had no idea of what it was until it got into her pussy. Was it what she was thinking it was? Alex was pounding her pussy slowly with a strap-on. In no time, the intensity of her movement increased. Emma couldn’t take it anymore, she was driving her crazy. Alex was blowing her mind and it was no joke.
Alex slipped the strap-on out of her and pushed her to the bed. She placed her legs on her shoulders and slipped it into her again. Emma was moaning so loud now, grabbing the sheets. Emma would go for her lips and kiss her at regular intervals while still inside of her, pounding her pussy with all the skills she has got. In no time she set one of her legs free and wrapped her lips around one of her boobs; she was sucking and fucking her at the same time. Her screams were loud now, and Alex on the other hand was moaning out of pleasure. Giving Emma so much pleasure pleasured her.
She slipped the strap-on out of Emma and raised her to her feet, and bent her over making her place her hands on the wall for support. Emma rubbed her clits with her free hand while Alex fucks her from behind, spanking and grabbing her ass as she does this.
“Do you like it?” Alex asked.
“I fucking love it and I love you even more," Emma replied.
Emma was close to orgasm and so was Alex. The intensity of their body movements increased. Alex bent a little and slipped two of her fingers in her own juicy wet pussy, finger fucking herself while fucking Emma. In no time, Emma let out a loud scream. They both shook and came at the same time. Alex slipped out of her, took the strap-on off, and laid beside Emma panting.
After laying there for about twenty minutes catching their breath, they both headed for the shower and washed each other.
“I cooked. Forgive my ill manners. I should have offered it to you immediately you walked in here." Alex said looking a little embarrassed.
“You should have, you know? because I was hungry. But you chose to offer me something else instead,” Emma said teasing her
“I know you liked it. I could tell you did,” Alex said playfully.
" Oh yeah, I sure did," Emma replied.
They both laughed heartily while Alex led her to the dinning table.
"Here, have a seat," Alex said.
Emma sat down while Emma served the meal. As she transported the second spoon of food to her mouth, she nodded in agreement with a light smile on her face.
“You are a great cook," Emma said.
Alex blushed and said, “ I try, but I’m not as good as you think.”
Alex had prepared chicken broth and white rice earlier that day.
“I am being serious here. You are really good and I am not joking about that,” Emma added.
Alex sat down there, on the seat just opposite Emma’s and kept stealing glances at her while they ate. Emma was really hungry, Alex could tell. Or was it the food? Was it as good as she had said it was? Maybe it was, Alex finally agreed. Emma was really interested in the plate of food set before her; she ate the food with relish.
After they had finished eating, Alex brought down the blinds because it was getting too cold. She turned on the TV and they both sat there, watching a series on her television; it was one of Alex’s favorite. Alex took one look at Emma and noticed she was shivering. She stood up from where she was sitting on the couch and walked straight to her room. She brought a big, white, silky duvet with her and a pillow as well. She went straight to where Emma was seated and sat down beside her. She placed the pillow on her thighs, guarded Emma's head to it, and covered her body up with the duvet she had brought with her.
They began to chitchat just after the second episode of the series they were watching had ended. Alex talked about her family for a while. Her father had died in a car crash when she was only ten. Her father was her favorite parent. She had three brothers, she was the only female child of her parents. When she was only sixteen and had just finished high school, she came out of the closet and made her sexuality know to her mother. Her mother told her that it was just puberty and that she would certainly grow out of it. A year later, she was back to her mother and told her that she still feel the same way.
“It isn’t puberty, mom. This is how I feel. It is who I am and I don’t think it would ever change,” Alex said.
Her mom threw her out and told her that she had lost her senses. She told her to leave and asked her to come back home when she becomes sane. She was furious and told went ahead to tell her that no child of hers would deviate from the norms of nature or the universe. She left home that day and never returned.
Her mother never called her for once to ask how she was doing.
Alex’s story broke her heart over again and even Emma’s as well. Emma thought of the fate that awaited her if she should even come out or confess her sexuality to get family. It didn’t bother her much cause she already knew what her family would do to her. She didn’t care about their opinion at the slightest. They were very hypocritical and judgmental people and she hated that about them anyway. They sat there talking for hours, telling each other their life experiences. A few moments later, Emma fell asleep and Alex helped her to the bedroom. Alex watched her for a moment as she slept and later fell asleep herself.
Emma woke up the next morning and found herself on the bed. She could not remember how she had got there. Alex wasn’t on the bed earlier. She called out to Alex, but there was no response. Something nice was cooking, she could smell it. She followed the aroma and found herself in the kitchen. Alex was already up, standing there and making breakfast. After breakfast, Emma took a shower, dressed up and left for her house.
Stephan had called her twice the previous night, but she didn’t take the calls. She had decided not to. She would see him in person to explain things to him in the best way she could. She was going to give up this newfound identity that brought meaning into her life for anything in the world.
Two days later, Emma sat in Stephan’s apartment, awaiting his arrival so she can free herself of this big lump in her throat.
It was going to be a very painful thing to do, but she would do it anyway, she had to. Her heart was racing, she was extremely nervous, anxious, and a bit shaky. Stephan was the first person she was going to come out to and it scared her to death.
Just as she was lost in her thoughts, the door opened.
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